Where it all began…
About a 6 min read.As I’ve had lots of time to myself during this quarantine, I was looking through old pictures and found this one I took of my sister….
Maybe, just maybe, this is where my love for motherhood came from. Watching my sister become a mother. I’ve always been pretty close to my family.. it’s always been my sister, brother and I. And for the longest time I was “the annoying little sister” and I still am.. but I don’t mind anymore lol I’ve learned to embrace the role haha
As a kid I didn’t know much about pregnancy and birth besides the fact that you get a belly and you eat more to feed the baby and the baby grows and grows for 9 months and you can either have a baby naturally or via c-section. I knew that recovering from a c-section takes longer. I knew that all moms needed support, and I was able to witness that as our family and my sisters friends came to visit and chat with her and admire her babies. Not just to see her babies, but to check in with her and see how she was actually doing, to offer a helping hand. Watching my parents support my sister and help with the little ones was interesting to watch. Those “hard” parents of ours turned into “mushy gushy, look at the baby”. And apparently grandkids don’t get disciplined bahaha >.<
So when my sister got pregnant with my nephew, I was young.. a kid really(my sister and I are about 7 years apart). I was so so overjoyed at the fact that I would be an aunt and I would have a nephew! I remember just wanting to be with my sister, everywhere she went, I wanted to go. I loved talking to my nephew while he was in her belly, loved poking it to feel him kick lol . Once my nephew was born, my goodness you could not separate me from my sister and her little family. I actually had to pretend I was my sisters child so that I could go up to the hospital room to see him hahaha, I definitely could not wait until we were home to see what he looked like! I loved being able to watch him grow, to hear his little cry, to help my sister feed him, hold him and love him.
As life went on, I got older, my sister got pregnant with her second child (which is who she is pregnant with in the photo). I remember seeing her belly grow and grow. I remember wanting to be around because she would have dizzy spells and get weak. I was confused by it and always asked “why”. Why she was tired, why she was dizzy, why she would be cranky haha. A lot of the time I got the answer “because she’s pregnant” . That didn’t really answer much to me at the time, but I knew I could help, help her by being around while she was outside, making sure she didn’t look “out of it”, and making sure she wouldn’t fall. Making sure she ate something. I just wanted to help in anyway I could. Even if that meant helping her fold clothes, clean up and watch my oldest nephew. I remember wanting to be with her so she wouldn’t feel alone, Of course I wanted to spend time with my nephews, c’mon they were cute little things haha. But really really loved witnessing life unfold.
By her 3rd little one, I was a Pro Auntie >.< cmon cmon, throw em at me.. “I got this” was my mentality haha I’d grown such a great relationship with the other two that adding another one to the pack was Fantastic! haha. Parenting, from my view of my sister was pure love, difficulty and joy. The 3 am random nose bleeds that looked like murder scenes. The sleepless fever nights. The ones where we just stayed up and watched cartoons because one or all of them “ couldn’t sleep” lol. The endless amount of times we saw Home Alone and played Just Dance. My oh my, the journey it has been!
Now these little ones aren’t babies anymore. They’re just about teenagers and that comes with a whole new ballgame.
As I work with more and more families, I look back and i’m so grateful that I was able to experience those times with my sister. Times of bonding and pure love. Not just between her and her kids, or me and her kids, but between my sister and I. A time where I opened my heart to see the beauty of motherhood. We’ve had crazy ups and downs, And i’m not sure if she knows this or not, but because of her, I look forward to having kids of my own. I look forward to starting my own family. She managed to provide for her kids, to love them unconditionally no matter what was thrown at her. She is so strong, and she continues to do what is best for her and her kids, everyday. I’m comforted knowing that she’ll be with me, cheering me on when I finally decide to have my own kids. I know she’ll be a great auntie for them, a great comforter, supporter and a great hugger.
Sister, I love you so much and thank you for letting your annoying little sister tag along. Thank you for giving me some amazing kiddos to love! Brother thank you too, because I was able to see you become a dad and to see you and your little ones grow as well♡
So maybe, just maybe, this is where the love for my profession comes from. The love for supporting families and their new beginnings. I’ve witnessed it, seen the joys and the struggles and I want to help.
♡ Beka The Doula